Whether you and your teen are getting along well or having challenges, it is important to show that you love and support them and remind yourselves how much you love each other. Here are some tips for helping your child navigate tough times – while taking care of yourself.
1. Encourage your teen to share their feelings
Find ways to check in with your teen. Ask them how their day has been and what they have been doing. It could be by inviting them to join you in a task – such as cooking dinner – so you can use the time to chat about their day.
Remind your teen that you are there for them, no matter what, and that you want to hear how they are feeling and what they are thinking. It is important to acknowledge and understand emotions they might be experiencing, even if it feels uncomfortable. It can be easy to notice the things your teen is doing that you do not like. Try to notice and praise them for something they are doing well (even something very simple).
2. Take time to support your teen
Find a few ways you can support and encourage your teen to take breaks (from homework or chores) to do things they enjoy and spend time with their friends. If your teen is frustrated, work with them to brainstorm some solutions to problems. Try not to take over and tell them what to do.
Adolescence means independence. Try to give your teen the appropriate time and space to be on their own and take on more responsibility. Needing space is a normal part of growing up. Work together on setting up new routines and setting achievable, daily goals.
Listen to your teens’ views and try to sort out problems between you and your teen calmly. Remember: everyone can be stressed.
3. Work through conflict between you and your teen
Listen to your teens’ views and try to sort out problems between you and your teen calmly. Remember: everyone can be stressed. Never discuss an issue while you are angry. Walk away, take a breath and calm down – you can talk with your teen about it later.
Avoid power struggles. With the world feeling unpredictable right now, teens might be struggling to feel in control. As difficult as it can be in the moment, empathize with your teen’s desire to assert control in a scary time, rather than attempting to fight back or overpower it.
When there is a conflict, take some time to reflect on how you and your teen can resolve the conflict. You can discuss these reflections with your teen, so they see how you are processing ideas.
4. Take time to care for yourself
Caregivers have a lot to deal with. You also need care and support for yourself. Practicing self-care is also a good way of modelling self-care to your teen.
Don’t wait too long to ask others for help if you are feeling overwhelmed. It is normal and okay to feel this way. Find a family member or someone you can talk with.
Make time for your own relationships. Set aside some time each day to check in with others who make you feel supported and understood. Try to find a few people that you can share feelings and experiences with. Make time in your day to do things that help you cope and manage stress. Whether your day is busy or slow – making time to look after yourself is essential for your well-being.
This article is based on guidance from the IASC Reference Group on Mental Health and Psychosocial Support.
Helplines and more information about mental health can be found here.